Merci

February 28, 2011 at 9:12 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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I’m so grateful for everyone who left comments or sent emails — from family members and friends to readers I have not even met — after my last post. I felt nervous about writing about feeling depressed, but even after simply sending the post out into the ether I felt a bit better. I had sorted out my thoughts somewhat, and now at least someone (“Someone” with a capital “S”) knew how I felt.

Interestingly (though perhaps not a total coincidence), I am working on a freelance magazine article about depression in law students. Many of the sources I interviewed have repeated that one of the most debilitating aspects of depression is feeling that you are alone. They have told me that, especially for lawyers (arguably competitive by nature), admitting depression is like an admission of failure. One person told me he hopes that eventually people’s discomfort with discussing depression and the even more taboo topic of suicide will turn to rallies of support, as happened for cancer (indeed, cancer used to be the “c-word,” right? Whispered in hushed tones as if someone’s cancer were his or her own fault…). Let’s do three-day walks and bike rides and wear ribbons in support of depression.

So, anyway, thank you for reaching out. For telling me your own stories. For letting me know you’re there for me. For suggesting ways to approach both rationally and indulgently (thank you, Pam, for the mani-pedi/Pinot suggestion!) the very real emotions I’m feeling.

At the very least, I know that I’m not alone. That knowledge enables me to sit with this and trust that the roller coaster will go back up.

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2 Comments »

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  1. Happy thoughts! Mani/pedi today at 5?

  2. I have a long post (composed in my head, not on my blog yet) about how it feels to realize that you don’t “have what it takes” and how that stings even if you don’t want to do what you have to do “to have what it takes”. I was in the office of a 3rd year yesterday who started crying saying that she “didn’t want to do this job” and did she just “waste 6 years” on something that she hates. It can be hard to keep things in perspective when you’re a lawyer.


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