Unemployed almost no more

September 12, 2008 at 3:14 pm | Posted in law school, Starbucks | 2 Comments
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When I started this blog, I had hoped that I could provide some sort of relevant commentary on being a law student and mother and/or lawyer and mother. But as my days grow busier, I’m realizing that this is probably going to devolve into more of a journal-type blog, to be read mostly by people who know me and want to keep tabs on me. So this won’t be my book-deal making masterpiece — sigh — but at least it will keep me writing.

My last few days of relative stay-at-home-motherhood have been sweet — probably more sweet than they might otherwise be. Morning trips to the Duck Pond and Make Way for Ducklings statue (via Starbucks, of course). The Little Bug goes absolutely crazy for both, jumping up and down in her stroller as soon as she sees the gates of the Public Garden ahead of us. We’ve run into lots of moms and babies every day, and I always have to drag her home. If I were a more prepared mother — or had an iPhone! — I’d have snapped some cute pictures. As I’ve posted about  before, I’m not very good at documenting Buggy’s baby-hood — we have a rarely used video cameras, there is no real baby book. I should post a picture of her new hair cut (she looks more and more like I did at that age, probably now due in very large part to the bowl-cut bangs…but what else can you do with a squirmy one-year-old?). I should order pictures for my office. Actually, I should upload our vacation pictures, too. Why is this one area of my otherwise relatively organized life that I’m so bad at keeping up-to-date? I keep telling myself that an iPhone will solve all these problems! (ha.)

But I’m ready. I think. I had drinks with Meg last night, who started work on Monday, and she was visibly excited and enthused about her new life as a lawyer. In fact, we also ran into her walking across the Garden to work, looking adorable in her suit. I’m excited to look adorable in my new suit.

But then, even as I ducked out solo to run some errands this afternoon, I saw a toddler being pushed in his stroller by his babysitter, and I had a pang of sadness. He was so cute, just as cute as my little Bug, who is going to spend more time with her babysitter than with me. I’m not going to rehash the Mommy Wars anymore — at least I’m going to try not to — but instead will approach Monday remembering two things my mother recently told me:

First, I walk out the door every day knowing I am providing a good life for my child. And she’s a happy child, and she’ll be just as happy when I’m working as she’d be if I weren’t.

Second, I am very, very lucky that I have a baby at home to miss. A healthy, happy baby who will keep me focused at work and who will continue — as she always has — to give my life purpose. So missing her is a good thing.

Nevertheless: check in with me Monday to see if I haven’t broken down and bought an iPhone (even though that will make me the woman who is checking her email on her work Blackberry and then on her iPhone!)

P.S. Random aside: my brother-in-law texted me today to see if I wanted him to get me a ticket for the musical Legally Blonde, which apparently is headed to Boston. I was like, “Um, do you have to ask? I am Legally Blonde!!!”

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2 Comments »

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  1. Your blog has given me a pep talk when I needed it (I started law school a month ago), so I hope I can return the favor.

    In my life before law school, I was a stay-at-home mom for almost two years and then had to go back to work (a really intense, time-consuming job). I bet I cried myself to sleep every night for a month thinking about not being with my son every day. The transition was hard (for me, not so much him!), but ended up being a really great thing for all of us. It sounds like you’ll be going to work at about the time I did with my kid and it’s a great time for that change. My son is absolutely thriving and we really make the most of our time together. I think it’s good, too, for him to see his mom do something besides be a mom.

    Anyway, I feel for you because I remember those days. It sounds like you’re doing the right thing for your family and you will all come out better for it.

  2. Do you have a feeling of unsettledness, I mean outside of the anxiety about leaving Little Bug? I totally do. I guess because I just haven’t had any “break” since the bar exam. Fortunately my parents have been here to help me through surgery and the move to NY, but I still feel like there’s too much going on, and now tomorrow I already have to pack up for the week and then drive back to Boston Sunday. I’m hoping that the exhileration of beginning this job we’ve worked so hard for will give me a much-needed emotional boost come Monday. But right now, in Julie’s words, I DON’T WANNA.


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