July 24, 2008 at 8:48 am | Posted in law school | 1 Comment
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I did not want to run yesterday morning. At 6:30, the humidity was already 91%. (I know this because Henry never met a gadget he didn’t love, so of course there is some high-tech digital barometer thing sitting in the kitchen.) But after an early morning thunderstorm ended, I ducked out and headed down South Street to cut through a little path in the woods behind Clearwater over towards Division Avenue in Summit. It was about a 40-minute loop (an aside: running in the heat and humidity and hills of Summit is great training!), and 20 minutes into it lightning cracked right over my head and the skies opened up. Whether I turned around or kept going, I still had 20 minutes to go, so nothing left to do but pick up the pace a bit.

It was the best run I’ve had in weeks. Months. I remembered running down the far end of Prospect Street with Ankie, senior year, in a similar storm. There is an exhilaration in just surrendering to the rain. As I ran up and down hills yesterday, brushing the rain out of my eyes (and waving knowingly at other joggers caught out in the storm), I felt so grateful that I could be out running on two healthy legs, that I had a beautiful baby waiting at home for me, that I have the most supportive family one could ask for.

Later, through the wonders of Facebook, which I could go on and on about but it would be cliched by this point, I went off to meet some high school friends for a drink in town. I hadn’t seen Carolee, Karen, Meme, or Darci since our fifth reunion high school, and of course I don’t remember talking to them then (nor much of the reunion in the first place, for various reasons…). Going to our tenth reunion was out of the question for me at that point in my life, and apparently no one got around to organizing a 15th. While they have all settled nearby and have remained close to each other, I nevertheless felt like I had just seen them a month ago. I love how maturity, chidlren, and a mellowing kindness can take hold in one’s 30s — five years ago I would have been to insecure and self-aware to have met up with high school friends. Last night we closed out (in Summit, that would be 11 p.m.!) the bar and had a wonderful time. We didn’t talk about the bar exam, nor what firm I worked for — we gossiped and talked about our kids. I definitely needed the break — needed to get out of my mom’s house, away from the forest-green glare of those BarBri books, needed that glass of wine (sauv blanc on the rocks, a nod to LMR!). But I think the evening also was so enjoyable just because — as cheesy as this will sound — people, at their core, are open and kind.

And this was, again, illustrated to me this morning. Sitting at the kitchen table on another hot, humid, rainy day, I was procrastinating over my third cup of coffee. I just didn’t see how I could hit the books again for 10 hours. (At this point, I wish the exam were tomorrow…) The UPS guy appeared at the back door, and my mom got up to get her package — but, instead, it was for me! An old, old friend, Natalie — whom I haven’t laid eyes on in at least 15 years, but who herself has taken three bar exams (NY/NJ and then, as so many people do, another bar exam for love when she moved to Atlanta for her husband…) — sent me some homemade sugar cookies from Eleni’s in NYC. It was as if she knew exactly where I’d be mentally on this exact morning — not knowing how I could do it for yet another day. I finished my coffee with one of the cookies and now feel like, with so much support and encouragement, even from the most unexpected places, there’s no way I won’t fly through this test.

Thank you thunderclouds and old friends.

(An aside: yet another reason why I need an iPhone — how I’d love to post a picture of our gathering. Everyone looks the same — and yet, as I think happens with women in their 30s, much better than even 15 years ago! Especially since between all of us we had 10 children…)


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  1. Two things: 1) I know too well what too many hours of studying in the cave can do to a person. and 2) please tell me it was at the Office that you met for drinks.

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