“I bombed the practice MBE” and other fun search termsJuly 6, 2008 at 7:51 pm | Posted in law school | 4 Comments
Tags: feel like going to fail the bar, is anybody out there?, PMBR, practice MBE; feel like failed the MBE; feel like going
I just did a bit of Google searching for the following:
“Did terribly/badly/horribly on practice MBE”
“Is PMBR worth it?”
“How to use PMBR CDs”
“BarBri schedules for after the practice MBE”
“Feel like am going to fail bar exam”
I didn’t find all that much from this year. So I write this post to help others sitting at their laptops right now in a state of mild panic, searching the same phrases.
I did terribly, TERRIBLY on the practice MBE. Am hesitant to write my score, but suffice it to say well below the “average” 105 for the practice. By all empirical measures, I “got” law school. I liked law school. I got good grades. Made Law Review. Blahblahblah. I know how to study for a law school final and/or write a law school paper, but the day-to-day outlining, flash-card making, and practice test-taking is something I just haven’t been able to keep up with.
So now, apparently, I have to start from the beginning.
I got a nice pep talk from a friend who is studying for the bar with her husband. They take turns making flashcards every night, outline for two hours, fill in their outlines and flash cards with the correct answers from the practice problems, and also seem to find time to go to the gym and be generally all-around pleasant people. She said they study for about six hours on top of the BarBri classes and offered some good suggestions. All of which, now that I have full-time day care, are doable (in theory). More important, though, I need to stop criticizing myself for all that I haven’t done up until now, as well as to stop comparing myself to those who are more disciplined than I (and who don’t have a baby).
So, again, to those reading this in a similarly perilous position vis-a-vis the bar exam, I offer you this post as evidence that there is someone else out there in the ether — someone who by all accounts should be able to master this thing — who seemingly has not done so yet. We have three-and-a-half weeks left, during which I’ll be going to the “optional” BarBri MBE explanation (have heard from others that if you bombed the practice MBE it can be quite useful), will be using these ready-made flashcards (suggested by the aforementioned kind and studious friend — it’s too late to start making my own), going to the three-day PMBR (my firm pays for it, luckily), and trying not to be horrible to my family.
Those who know me don’t take my panic too seriously. My mother (who, I should note, took the NJ bar with three children) says, “I know this is hard for you. All you can do is just do the best you can do.” Hmmm. My husband dismisses me (kindly, but he does it nonetheless) as one of those perfectionist people who cry wolf after every exam, “Oh, I failed it” and then get an A. I am actually not one of those people — I generally tend to know when I ace a test and when I bomb one from the moment I put down my pen. I knew Thursday’s practice MBE was a disaster from the lunch break, just as I knew when I took the MPRE in March that I had comfortably passed. I know when I turn in an A paper, an A- paper, or a B+ exam. So my fear is not unfounded. However, I will admit that I am one who perhaps needs the angst and adrenaline of the last-minute push to really focus. Some people are the “work a little bit every night” types; I have always wanted to be one of them, but am not (and then, of course, get anxious when I’m around them because I secretly want to be them?) I think I was at one point — high school maybe? — but certainly by the time I got to journalism school the addiction and rush of the deadline completely subsumed any lingering consistency and diligence.
I’m not looking for sympathy anymore. I cried in frustration and defeat for a few hours this morning after self-grading the test and am over it (I think). So, anyway, take heart. If you’re in dire straits at the moment, you’re in good company.