Review (phew?)
November 18, 2009 at 10:19 am | In Starbucks, little bug, tax law is sexy, the firm | 4 CommentsTags: Big Law, law firm layoffs, lawyer mom, performance reviews
I was so sure I was going to be let go/laid off/fired (or whatever the current euphemism is for what is happening at BigLaw performance reviews these days) on Tuesday that I booked a painter to begin working on Thursday. Rumors were rampant at work about cuts to be made, not based on performance, but based on hours. Although due to no real fault of my own I’d like to think (I’m a tax lawyer, I don’t work on deals, I don’t do document review), my numbers were, by BigLaw standards, atrocious. So, by Tuesday morning I had done some cursory research of Massachusetts employment law as it relates to maternity leave (can your maternity leave be halted once you have begun it?) and also had consulted with former colleagues who had been downsized right before their maternity leaves to compare what sort of severance they had been given. I was prepared.
I walked into my review with a truly racing heart. My nerves were tingling in a way they had not since I opened up that letter from the Massachusetts Board of Bar Examiners. I also had convinced myself that being laid off right now would be great, actually. I would have three months at home with my Little Bug before the baby arrived. I could get the house decorated, prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas, cook, watch Oprah. Tim could truly focus on his increasingly demanding job for awhile. I’d have the baby, and in the spring I’d think about what came next.
At the same time, I was thinking about how and with whom I’d network. I’d try to start freelancing for the Boston Bar Journal. I’d join some professional groups. I’d get my references lined up. And I had already started to do some soul-searching: why were my hours so low that I was laid off? What sort of message was I putting out – consciously or subconsciously – into the universe about my desire to work full-time at a big firm? What could I have done better? And, worse, I had started asking myself: was this really an hours-based layoff? Was I really a good lawyer?
In the end, I had a glowing performance review. I was truly stunned when, after the first few moments, it became clear that not only was I not going to get fired, but that people actually appreciated my work. “Come on, you didn’t really think they were going to let you go,” was the chorus from my family and friends. But I did – I truly did. See, I’m not sure I’m world’s greatest tax lawyer. This stuff is difficult, and not only do I not take to it as intuitively as others, I’m also quite sure I don’t work as hard. I get Starbucks with my colleagues. Most nights, I rush out of here to get home before 6, and I don’t work from home unless I really need to. I write on my blog, I read the news, I watch crappy TV. If they were going to have to let the lowest-producing lawyers go for economic reasons, why not me?
Oh, I am so lucky to have a job – any job – right now. I have stimulating, supportive colleagues. A caring nanny whom my child adores. A husband who rarely travels and will get home in lieu of me almost any night I ask (and when he can’t, family who can step in.) And, the bottom line is: I could stay home if I wished. I am acutely aware that I have this choice. But, historically, I’m also really bad with choices: I second-guess to the point of anxiety. (I’ve written about this before, of course.) I am extremely satisfied and proud and grateful in the wake of this review that my choice to become a Big Law attorney seems to have been a good one, but it doesn’t make walking out the door each morning any easier. I am supporting my family and (hopefully) becoming a role model for my daughter, who can now say, “I want to be a lawyer!” But is that any better than being home with her, reading to her, making her lunch? I just don’t know. I can’t know. As irrational as it seems, maybe the choice should have been made for me.
What to Wear: Pregnant Lady Lawyer Edition
October 27, 2009 at 8:27 am | In the firm | 1 CommentTags: Big Law, Diane von Furstenberg maternity, Gap Maternity, Isabella Oliver maternity, maternity clothes for work, Old Navy Maternity, what to wear to a law firm while pregnant, what to wear to work while pregnant
Apparently, this blog’s most popular posts have been about my wardrobe: my post-partum/ nursing mom get up, and then my work wardrobe. Now that I’m six+ months pregnant, it is time for an update: what to wear while pregnant and working as an attorney in a somewhat conservative law firm (i.e., “Big Law”). I first considered this issue when I spent the final six, very large weeks of my pregnancy with Little Bug as a summer associate at my firm. Fortunately, I still have those clothes, but I’ve had to update that wardrobe to include both the first trimester and colder weather. I had enough misses the first time around (and ended up buying way too many clothes, since I didn’ t know what would really fit, be comfortable, and be office-appropriate) that I hope you can learn from my mistakes.
First Trimester
Guess what — you are not going to be sporting an Angelina-esque baby bump any time soon. This revelation was initially kind of shocking and depressing. Instead, I just got thicker and thicker and my waistbands got tighter and tighter (and my boobs bigger and bigger) until well into my second trimester. You just feel fat, and you so want that little bump so you can say to the world, “I’m not fat! I’m pregnant, see?”
So what do you wear to work during this awkward phase? My theory is that you can wear looser, flow-y tops, but only until you start to show that little bump. Then, it’s actually a relief to wear tighter, more fitted maternity clothes so you look somewhat stylish again. (You don’t want to wear a tent for 40 weeks.) Here is what I did this time:
1. Buy a Bella Band. Stat. I pooh-poohed this the first time around, but, thanks to Big Mo, I now appreciate its genius. You can start wearing this as soon as you can’t get through a day without unbuttoning your pants, and it extends the life of your “normal” clothes for months. (In fact, I’m still mostly wearing my “normal” Theory work pants with the Bella Band, and will do so for as long as I can.)
2. Wear tops that are supposed to be loose and untucked. The buttons on your “normal” work shirts will probably start to gape in the chest area, and I think it looks kind of sloppy to wear shirts untucked unless they are meant to be so. Instead, go buy a few shirts like this (from J. Crew)

or this (from Banana Republic)

in a size or two larger than you’d normally wear.
3. You can still wear your cardigans and jackets unbuttoned. In fact, I’ve found you can do so throughout your entire pregnancy. (Later on, you just wear them over a nice, fitted, maternity T — see below.)
In short, then, for your first trimester and part of your second, you can extend the waistband on your normal pants with the Bella Band, wear more flow-y tops over that, and then top it off with your normal sweaters and jackets. Keep wearing your killer heels, and you’ll feel as good as it is possible to feel when you are nauseous, exhausted, and generally bloated.
Baby Bump (Second and Third Trimester)
This is where I’m at now, and I’m definitely wearing maternity clothes. In addition to my “normal” pants, whose lives have been miraculously extended with the Bella Band, I’ve been able to narrow down my wardrobe to a few staples. Again, you don’t want to spend a ton of money on maternity clothes, but you also have to spend enough money that you still look professional. I did shell out for a few key things, but otherwise rely on Old Navy and Gap maternity, as well as Ebay (more on that in a moment). Also, most of what I bought is black and gray. Since I don’t have very many clothes, I need to mix and match quite a bit. One color tone enables you to get away with wearing the same pair of black pants more than once in a week (and, remember, you can still wear your “normal” shoes and jewelry to liven things up).
1. Gap essential tank. I wear either the tank top or the cami almost every day under whatever top I’m wearing. This is just a personal preference, but I like to keep my belly covered just in case my shirt is loose or happens to ride up a bit. If you’re wearing the Bella Band, the tank top makes another layer over that, and by the time you add your top, you look nice and smoothly put together.

2. Wrap dress. Not only is a wrap dress supremely comfortable, but if you wear it with a great necklace and black tights and heels, you can wear it to a client meeting if you have to. At the moment, I have three: Old Navy (super cheap but surprisingly professional and you can throw it in the wash); Gap sweater dress; and a fun, patterned Diane Von Furstenberg maternity dress (not cheap in theory, but cheap in practice because I bought it on Ebay).
3. Tops. When I was pregnant with Little Bug, I immediately bought some Gap maternity button downs, thinking they’d be oh-so-professional. As it turns out, they look like tents, and I hate them. You can’t really tuck in button downs when you’re pregnant, right? And so they end up just hanging limply over your bump. Again, loose and untucked is good for when you’re not really showing, but once you are showing, wearing something that isn’t fitted just makes you look bigger.
Instead, I own four nice-quality, fitted maternity tops and two fitted (the fitted part is key, have you figured that out yet?!) maternity 3/4 length t-shirts, which I wear with cardigans that I already own. I have tried not to skimp on tops, as, obviously, this is what people will notice the most (especially because they are covering that large belly…) Ebay can help out a lot here: I found a colorful, patterned DVF maternity top and a black-and-white patterned top from Pea in the Pod. (Note: normally, I think shopping at Pea in the Pod is akin to larceny, but there are just some necessary professional clothes you need to own that you really can’t find elsewhere, so at least check it out and figure out your size. Maybe buy one or two things there, and then stalk Ebay?)
I also bought a few tops from my absolute favorite maternity brand, Isabella Oliver. The prices are relatively steep, but of the several IO tops I own, I wear at least two every week. I also have the 3/4 length t-shirts in black and white and, again, wear those under sweaters.

I also own one of their white wrap blouses. Unlike the tent-like blouses, this one is crisp, fitted, and I think the most professional thing in my maternity wardrobe. I always feel great when I wear it (and, when you are pregnant, this counts for a lot!)

4. Bottoms. I own this black skirt by IO, which I wear almost weekly. (I wore it a lot post-partum, too!) Again, because I wear it so much, I feel like it was worth the money. The fit and quality are incomparable. I’m still making do with my “normal” pants, although I am not sure how much longer I’m going to be able to pull those off. Therefore, despite the highway robbery, I did buy one pair of pants at Pea in the Pod — a pair of gray pin-striped trousers. I own two Gap maternity skirts from my first pregnancy — both reasonably priced and perfectly suitable for work. One is navy and one is khaki, although this means that I can’t really wear them into this winter season anymore (I can’t do bare legs much longer, and I refuse to wear hose — only black tights). In addition, I own these black Gap pants. They are relatively inexpensive, are perfectly suitable for work, and you can throw them in the wash. Everyone has their own preference, but, in general, I only like the pants with the “secret fit” or “full panel” waistband — the panel that covers up your whole belly. Nothing else will stay up on me.
5. Suits. Do you need a maternity suit? I’d argue yes, if you’re an attorney or in a profession where you meet with clients. At least a jacket. I shelled out for a Pea in the Pod suit last time around. The jacket, I loved. Still love. The pants were horrible and didn’t fit. But I’m very glad I have the jacket.

It’s black, of course, so I can get away with wearing it with either black pants or a black skirt. In fact, I have a client meeting next week and will be pulling it out for the first time. If I don’t wear it again, fine. I’ll give it to someone or will sell it on Ebay. But it’s peace of mind to have it if an important meeting comes up.
6. Coats. Another hotly debated question: If you’re very pregnant in the winter, do you need a maternity coat? A good friend of mine got through her winter pregnancy wearing her “normal” down jacket (although she swears it is now stretched out in the stomach…) But if, as a lawyer, you don’t normally wear down jackets or your husband’s fleeces to work, I’d buy a maternity coat (especially if you’re due in March or something and really will need a coat during those big-bump months). Old Navy has nice, super cheap coats. And you don’t have to worry too much about an inexpensive coat wearing out after a season because…you won’t need it again next year (presumably!) Again, check Ebay too.
Conclusion
I don’t have all that many clothes. My staple outfit is black pants or a black skirt (with black tights). Then I wear my Gap cami layered under either (a) my patterned maternity tops or (b) my black or white Isabella Oliver t-shirt with a “normal” cardigan. I tend to wear bright shoes (think: red patent flats, yellow patents heels, black and white spectator heels), so I don’t end up feeling too drab. To mix things up, once a week I’ll wear one of my wrap dresses. If I have a client meeting, I’ll wear a wrap dress, my white Isabella Oliver wrap blouse with black or gray pants, or my one maternity jacket.
A few other thoughts on maternity clothes
1. I mentioned Isabella Oliver, above. The prices are steep, but please at least check them out. If you buy just one or two things, have one of them be either this black skirt or these black pants. You can wear them from day one of your pregnancy and also post-partum. Somehow they manage to be comfortable and professional. If you buy one top, buy one of these t-shirts or this wrap blouse. You’ll thank me, I promise! (Note on Isabella Oliver sizing: I’m normally a size 8 in pants and wear an IO size 3 on the bottom. For the 3/4 t-shirts, however, I wear a size 4 — her clothes are beautifully fitted, but I tend to be a little bigger on top and don’t like things to pull. I’m a size 3 in the wrap blouse, though.)
2. Ebay. Why didn’t I use Ebay with my first pregnancy? Oh yeah, because I had no idea what I was doing. Or my size in any maternity clothes. It’s worth it to go to Pea in the Pod and try on a few things and make note of your size and then try to find similar items on Ebay. I love the DVF maternity stuff. Her clothes run small though (I’m normally a size 8 but always wear a L in her clothes — pregnant or not!).
3. Maternity jeans. PAY ATTENTION: do not, I repeat, do NOT go out and buy those expensive Seven for All Mankind maternity jeans that you see at Pea in the Pod or wherever. Even with the full belly panel they do not stay up. I was warned by pregnant friends the first time around and bought them anyway — and after five minutes the crotch was at my knees. This time around, I thought, well, maybe I’m a different size than I was the first time or maybe they make them better. And I bought them again (see, they are sooo tempting!) and had the same problem. I suggest Gap maternity skinny jeans or Isabella Oliver jeans. Size hint for jeans: for my body type, the great thing about being pregnant is that I don’t have to worry about waist size. I’ve always found that the size of my pants was probably always a bit bigger than I needed it to be in terms of the fit in the butt or legs just so that they would fit at the waist (I will never ever be the girl with the flat stomach. It’s genetically impossible, and I accept that.) But when pregnant, I can wear a size smaller jeans that fit in the butt/legs because I don’t have to worry about them fitting around the waist (does that make sense?) Also, remember that jeans stretch. While I might normally wear a size 8 in pants, my Gap skinny maternity jeans are a size 6. They are awesome.
Comments and suggestions welcome! What are your favorite maternity finds? What purchase has been the biggest waste of money?
Milestone
May 12, 2009 at 7:52 pm | In Starbucks, little bug, running, the firm, wine | 5 CommentsTags: 35th birthday, Chateauneuf-du-Pape, half marathon, iPhone
Hello! Remember me? It’s my birthday, so I’m going to use this occasion to try to start posting again. If the camera on my Blackberry hadn’t broken the last time I dropped it (iPhone here I come!), I would have posted a picture of my desk at work today, which featured a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my coworkers friends, another goregous bouquet from Winston Flowers from my dear EAPL, and a genuine Starbucks mug from the original Pike’s Place Starbucks in Seattle, lovingly carried back by Sarabclever, who knows me too well. There was a leisurely lunch at Boloco (where else?) with coworkers friends; voicemail messages from friends trying to sing happy birthday (love you KRB and QBMc!); a real, old-school birthday card from LMR (of course!); presents from my loving family, including a framed, matted reproduction of the Maira Kalman print of Ruth Bader Ginsburg (the one featured in the post below) from my incredibly talented sister (now open for freelance stationery business!). And lots of emails and Facebook messages. Plus, Tim walked in from a business trip with pizza and mint chocolate chip ice cream from J.P. Licks. And, I am drinking a Chateauneuf-du-Pape given to me by my coworker friend, Jean-Michel (and he didn’t even know it is my absolute favorite varietal!) My baby is sleeping soundly in the next room (hopefully, with her pajamas on. Her new habit is unzipping them numerous times throughout the night). I am a lucky, lucky woman.
Not to say that this birthday hasn’t been a little fraught — poor Ellen got an earful on our 10-mile run around Castle Island on Sunday (yes, the half marathon is happening Memorial Day weekend!). It’s a milestone of sorts — no longer am I in my “early” 30s. If and when we have another child, I’ll be of “advanced maternal age,” and my insurance will cover all the early pre-natal testing that it didn’t the first time around. But it has been milestone also in that it has, somewhat surprisingly, put me in touch, for various reasons, with two important people from my deep, dark past. I’ve grown a lot, and karma has won out (I hope), and attempts at closure have, perhaps, finally been satisfied. I’d rather be 35 and who I am right now than young and face-line-less.
Good Friday
April 10, 2009 at 12:08 pm | In Massholes, little bug, running, the firm, weekend | 3 CommentsTags: Catholicism, Easter weekend, Good Friday, Master's weekend
It’s Good Friday, and I am at work. I realized this morning that I have never worked on Good Friday before. The good lord knows that I am hardly an observant Catholic anymore; however, I feel strangely guilty for being here (even though it’s not like I would be in church or something otherwise).
Good Friday used to mean those three hours Masses where you weren’t allowed to sit down. Catholicism is still a central tenant of my identity, more cultural than religious, but to this day if I go to a church service that is not Catholic, it doesn’t quite feel like church (even an Episcopal service — the Lord’s Prayer is just ever so slightly different at the end…)
We’re not going to church this weekend.* And I hadn’t really thought about making an Easter basket for Little Buggy (to my mother’s horror — but don’t worry: we have been invited to some Easter egg hunts with friends and their children, so at least she can observe that pagan ritual). I do sometimes wonder if I’m doing the right thing by not introducing religion to my child. Tim would argue that we are absolutely doing the right thing, but I think his more traditional (think: lots of kids, Catholic school) religious upbringing has scarred him more than it has me. Still, a nice, liberal, welcoming church with lots of music and stories of love and goodness (such as the church in which we baptized Buggy — see my prior post on that lovely day, here) would be something I could get into — if it didn’t conflict with naptime.
I’m surprised that today is not a holiday at the Firm — it’s a market holiday, and we are in one of the most Catholic cities in the country. The halls seem somewhat quiet today, and I haven’t received many emails, so even though this is no longer a religious holiday for me, I think I shall mark it in my own way by sneaking out a bit early, taking a long run on the river in the spring sunshine, and taking my baby to the playground.
*In addition to this being Easter weekend, it is also Master’s Weekend, a holiday in its own right that borders on the religious in our house. You think I’m kidding.
No, I’m not in Paris
April 7, 2009 at 7:33 am | In law school, the firm | 3 CommentsApparently, some people want to know where I have been. Am I not writing because I’ve run off on sabbatical and am now in Paris, typing this into my iPhone (because I bought one as soon as I ditched the firm-issued Blackberry) whilst sipping Cote du Rhone in a cafe on the Seine (with Little Buggy speaking fluent toddler French next to me)? Sadly, no. Well, sad that I’m not in Paris. Not sad that I’m not on a sabbatical (read on…).
A loyal blog reader (and friend) emailed me this morning to see what had happened to me now that I’ve disappeared from the Internet (as you might remember from last year, she is the friend who gave up Facebook for Lent. She has done so again this year, so she cannot keep tabs on me that way, either…) I sent her back a quick email and thought I’d post it here both in the interest of time and for a brief update:
Dear K,
Siren Song
March 20, 2009 at 1:54 pm | In little bug, not yet written, the firm | 4 CommentsTags: law firm layoffs, sabbatical, stay at home mom
If you are reading this and you are a relatively young associate, you read Above the Law and so know what went down at my firm yesterday. If you’re not a lawyer (and thus not addicted to the train wreck that is abovethelaw.com — Must. Stop. Looking. At. Carnage), I’ll try to summarize as briefly as possible:
Many, many law firms — large and small, prestigious and niche — are laying off associates. Most law firms will not lay off first-year associates. The reasons for this are both selfish and somewhat humane. If you lay off first-years during a downturn, what third-year law student is going to take a chance on you? Especially the most coveted law students who tend to have more choices when it comes to recruiting (or, at least, used to). (The economics behind it are something like this: the more “prestigious” a firm, the more it can charge. How do you get to be “prestigious”? You boast that you can hire the top students from the top law schools. Thus, these students are heavily recruited and [used to] spend their 2L summers being wined and dined.) The humane reason, I’d like to think, is that if you get laid off as a first-year associate, you’ll have an incredibly difficult time finding another position (although I’m sure this is also tied up with reason #1).
What law firms can do in lieu of retracting offers or laying off current associates is push back the start date for incoming associate classes. Instead of staring in September, new associates would start the following January, thus saving the firm six months of six-figure salaries (x 180 new associates). My firm has chosen to do this, leading me to believe that its financial future is not as stable as they assured us a few months ago (shocker). My firm also has taken an innovative step, now being adopted by a few other top firms (see today’s WSJ, which of course I can’t link for you because they charge for online content!) of offering one-year public-interest law “internships” to all associates. You can take a year’s leave of absence from the firm to practice law at an approved public-interest focused organization — e.g., an attorney general’s office, the local district attorney’s office, a legal services organization, a nonprofit. You’d forgo your six-figure salary, but the firm will pay you a respectable $60,000 (more than you’d make working there normally). Plus, you retain your health benefits (huge).
This would be an attractive option for me if I did not have day care costs. I’d love to work for a DA’s office or Greater Boston Legal Services, but the reality is, after child care, I’d clear very little (if any, after taxes) of that $60,000. In fact, I’d probably lose money.
The other option offered by my firm is a year-long “sabbatical.” You won’t get firm “credit” for that year, since you wouldn’t be practicing law, which means that if you took a year off obviously you’d come back as a first-year associate (or second-year or whatever year you are). You would be paid a stipend of 20% of your salary, and you’d also retain your health benefits. And this is where the sirens began to sing for me (“I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each…”)
What if I stayed at home with the Little Bug for a year? We’d have to give up our full-time child care, of course. But the stipend would be enough for some hours of babysitting each week. What if I became one of those “yoga-pants-at-9 a.m.” mothers (so described by Judith Warner in her column today, here – although I actually feel like she got that phrase from me!?)? What if I took Little Buggy to Tiny Toes dance class with all the other toddlers? Made dinner every night? Would I write? Could I write? A novel even?

My days would be spent like this!
My firm is dangling a seductive proposition — “Here: try out being home with your child for a year. Just try it. You may like it!” And if I don’t — supposedly I have a job to come back to.
Rationally, logically, even emotionally this is not going to happen. First of all, I have a job, with a paycheck, in this unstable economy. Moreover, I’m too old to have my career advancement slowed any more than it already is, and I don’t want to come back in a year, still being a first-year associate, only to compete with all the “new” first-year associates. I’m not sure I’m going to be a BigLaw employee forever, but if I leave now, I may be shutting that door earlier than I had planned.
And, finally, I actually do like being a lawyer. It took me a loooong time to get here. Were I a third- or fourth-year associate who had lived the law-firm life for awhile, I might see this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to try something new and different. But I’ve already written for a living, lived in a ski-town, traveled around the world, lived on the West Coast near the beach, become a yoga instructor. And, even after all of that — even after doing all of those things that I’m sure sound quite exciting to a mid-level associate who has been stuck in a high-rise 60+ hours a week for the past five years — I wanted to become a lawyer.
The only thing I haven’t done is be at home with my child on a regular basis, being her primary caregiver, and that’s why the siren call is so strong right now. What if… what if…
… I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me.
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
(Am not trying to be dramatic, but just remembering how much I have always loved this poem…)
I’m not dead
March 13, 2009 at 6:56 am | In Starbucks, decor, little bug, running, the firm | 3 CommentsWork has been busy. Obviously. Apparently I cannot be a mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, and work full-time and have a blog. That’s OK — the mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter parts are more important. I’ll try to get back to it soon (if anyone is still reading!)
Below, the view from my office window on an early spring morning, out over Logan. I wish you could see the ferry boats cris-crossing the harbor and the planes taking off. It’s pretty. It also shows you how early I was here today!

What I’ve been up to: training for the half marathon, then getting sick and not running for a week (oh well). Seeing an old friend from journalism school who is now a NYTimes reporter (what every j-school student dreamed of, back then. Am so proud of her!) Working — a lot. Having a sick husband, nanny, and baby. Going to a brunch with work-mom friends and their families — these women help me realize I can do it. Working some more. Watching with amazement as my baby turns into a chatting toddler and climbs up on to anything stationary (chairs, tables, ledges — yikes!) Taking her to the park on the first real day of spring (before the next day’s snow). Dreaming of how I will decorate our new place when we move out to the ‘burbs in the summer. Going to Stabucks. A lot. So, you know, the usual.
It’s all good.
Follow up to follow up
February 26, 2009 at 9:26 pm | In Starbucks, little bug, running, tax law is sexy, the firm | Leave a CommentWell, I didn’t go running yesterday. I went in to the bathroom at work and changed — running tights and all — in anticipation of a quick run past South Station and down through Southie, but by the time I emerged it was 5:30. And my mind was elsewhere: we had no diapers, no milk, no dish soap, no bananas, no paper towels — all things you can not do without when you have a baby. I also had spent about 45 minutes total with the Little Bug since Monday. So, I went to Whole Foods and CVS and went home and played with my baby. And didn’t feel guilty at all.
Today, however, at 3 p.m., I was sitting at my desk feeling anxious. My chest felt tight. I couldn’t concentrate. I was getting cranky. I already had rescheduled my pro bono tax preparation work (I have been going to Chelsea on Thursday nights from 4-6 p.m. to help low-income tax payers complete their forms) in anticipation of a late night at work (I had a 6 p.m. phone call with a client in California). I don’t know who at work might be reading this so maybe I shouldn’t be writing it, but . . . I went home. And I went for a run.
The run felt kind of horrible at the time — my 2:30 p.m. Starbucks was giving me side stitches and I felt like I was running 12-minute miles. But the weather was warm, and I quickly broke a sweat (probably because I over-dressed for the 40-degree afternoon). And, now, I’m a new person. I took the 6 p.m. call at home, Little Buggy splashing away in the bathtub in the background and am, for the record, still working away at 9:30 p.m., but perhaps the lesson learned is: my body will let me know when I need to work out and I will make the time, even if it involves “sneaking” out of work (though I would argue that it was for both my personal sanity and professional concentration — I have accomplished more in the past three hours than I did all day…)? So maybe I shouldn’t stress on a consistent basis? (Ha.)
Working out at work (?)
January 27, 2009 at 9:09 pm | In Oprah, running, the firm | 2 CommentsTags: Boston Sports Club, can working moms work out, Sports Club LA Boston, The Biggest Loser, treadmills, working out at work, workout attire
Part II of my quest to fit exercise into my new life as a lawyer/mom (Part I was yoga at work): I joined the gym in my office building. It would never, ever be described as a “nice” gym. That being said, the cost per month is less than half of my current, crappy gym, where there’s always at least one machine on the fritz, and all the treadmills have gum in the water-bottle-holder-places.*
I left my desk, rode the elevator down 27 floors, filled out the paperwork to sign up, changed, ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes (I know I hate treadmills, but I hate going for more than a week without running even more), rinsed off in the shower (again, it was towards the end of the day so I didn’t bother to wash my hair, nor did I mind “glowing” for awhile afterwards — I had no meetings left to attend), and was back at my desk exactly one hour later. Not bad. Had I not had to register, I might have been back at my desk in 50 minutes. Or could have run another mile.
Talk to me in two weeks and ask me how many times I have been able to pull this off. Still, even though I had quite a bit going on today (and so knowing that I’d be working after I got home anyway) I forced myself to go. The lesson learned is: if you can force yourself to make the time, you always feel better afterwards. So mundane, but so important for a working mom (or working anyone) to remember. Not to sound too much like Oprah, or Jillian/Bob on “The Biggest Loser,” but you have to make time for yourself, too, even if it’s at the slightly shoddy gym in your office building.
*I actually kind of like my crappy gym better than my former, fancy gym. When I run, I like to wear old t-shirts over spandex. I throw my hair up into an elastic and stick a few bobby pins in the layers. At the fancy gym, women wore expensive yoga tops on the treadmill. More often than not, they also wore makeup and, even worse, WORE THEIR HAIR DOWN. Long hair, blown out into waves. Flowing behind them on the treadmill. Why? And how? Sure, at fancy gym you might see Larry Bird, or Justin Timberlake, or Kate Hudson as they cruised through town for a night at the Garden or on a movie shoot. And it’s not like I feel self-conscious in my less-than-attractive workout attire, but I just cannot run next to someone on a treadmill whose hair is in her face without wanting to yank it into a ponytail for her. I’m not some aweomse runner or anything, but I cannot take someone like that seriously.
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